In the end, maybe it was me
my insecurity
that caused the friendship I valued
to seep through my fingers
and into the hands of someone else
Crazy to me, how this all started
random conversation about dumb opinions
suddenly, you were something
that I looked forward to
started thinking I'd move forward with you
Crazy, the chemistry we had
or maybe it's convenient reminiscing
and what I remember as giggles
is you laughing at me
Maybe I wasn't that funny after all
Maybe knowing that, I could've stopped my fall
but it's a lie to suggest it's that easy
you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen
smile went off like the flash of a thousand cameras
twinkle in your eyes, joy in your spirit
when you whispered, I stressed my ears to hear it
You brown skin, a cococure to my lonely wounds
Said my name like it meant something to you
still, I always felt I had something to prove
How was it you even took notice of me?
No one like you ever gave me the time of day
Someone that beautiful, kind, intelligent
clearly wanted something - you weren't here for I
still foolishly, thought I could make you mine
Phone calls til 3 in the morning
You knew what to say and I hated you made me hor...
Said they called you a sexual creature
I understood why but that wasn't your best feature
The aura you got was bound to attract others
I saw it happen and I fell back
last time I saw friends connect like that,
my homeboy stole one I cared for behind my back
You can't shake when someone has hooks in you
to be honest, I hated that, too -
how we could pick right up where we left off
How I couldn't just brush you off
I was sure I was nothing more than convenient
Who am I to you? What's the whole meaning?
I liked you, BAD - couldn't fight the feeling
Did it cost me you, to remain silent,
did you even notice when I went quiet?
So many suitors, maybe I hate competition
Didn't trust my thoughts, so I never went fishing
Brown skin girl with the brilliant smile
Friend of mine with the mind that drove me wild
I look dumb right now, unable to say aloud
so I put it on the paper to say I tried.
Rather than admit I was afraid, it's easier to lie.
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