#30in30 2017, Day Thirty: Chemistry

See, sometimes I write things

hoping you'll read them and get the message

Do you read yourself between the lines?

I should be braver but it's safer

to put it in a piece of rhymes

and tell myself it'll reach you

if it's meant to

I write poetry, that's my specialty

but I don't know anything, about chemistry

It's all a mystery, the only thing

I know to be sure is the feelings I have for you

A woman like you

wouldn't notice me on her own

I keep thinking a friend of a friend will say

"You should peep this" and you'll read it

and that's when you'll see it

I'm not impressive, I have to make my impression

with the words

The thing about chemistry

is there are no guarantees, that I am your type

I hope when you read this, you'll see that I mean this

and give me a try

#30in30 2017, Day Twenty-Nine: The Assassin

He must get the shot perfect
It must be clean... precise.
He will never get this opportunity again
He waits
He waits for the target to step into view
He watches
The target stretches
She bends forward, allows fingers
to touch toes then comes up for air
He adjusts his scope so he can make out
the expression on her face
The inquisitive look in her eyes
The dimple in her smile
because something happy has crossed her mind
It's time
The sound of the click causes her
to look in his direction
slightly surprised, the target lets out a gasp
and there is a flash in the darkness
He smiles at what he's done
"I wasn't even ready!" she says
he prefers it that way
Because candid shots can never be faked
"This time," he tells her, " a little more to the left"

#30in30 2017, Day Twenty-Eight: Come Out

Won't you come out and play?
It's so sunny outside today
The weather's beautiful
it's not too hot and there's a breeze

You stay stuck in your room
and so you stay stuck in your gloom
Whole world is passing you by
you're afraid to leave your space behind

Let's change your mood
Don't let those four walls confine you
Don't let your mind entrap you
Unhappiness will drag you down

I think you just need a pick me up
Walk with me and take it in
Fresh air, blue sky, sunshine's just what you need
Won't you step outside and join me?

#30in30 2017, Day Twenty-Seven: I Hope This Counts For Something

How could somebody treat you cruel?
How could somebody be such a fool?
To neglect a beautiful being,
a kind soul, a once-in-a-lifetime feeling?

These are the questions I ask myself
whenever I think of you
There is no replacement for that sensation
for the relationship I had with you

How could you talk and never listen?
How could you minimize all of their wishes?
How could I say you were my universe,
my everything, yet treat you the worst?

You didn't deserve that, I didn't deserve you
Said I loved you in words, actions didn't match up
You were so far ahead, I was playing catch up
I couldn't keep up, so I quit running after you

These are the memories, these are the inquiries
whenever you're in my head
So many apologies, things I never said
that come so easily... now that you're not here

#30in30 2017, Day Twenty-Six: Do You Write?

She asked me "Do you write?"
And I said, "Yes."
"What about?" she inquired further.
And I replied, "Love."
She asked me "why" and I said "because
I need to keep it alive."
And I thought by doing my part,
I might welcome love into my life
You see, I've been hurt
I've had my heart torn to shreds
I've laid awake at night in bed
Wondering if my time is coming,
If it will ever, or will it never
will I walk through life alone forever
I've had sadness and I've had feelings
and they were not always shared
Often unrequited, I wanted to quit it
but it was wired into my DNA to care
But I write to see it on the paper
in hopes that it will one day manifest
So that when the right one comes along,
I won't hesitate to confess, my feelings
I stumble over words in person
but never make mistakes in verses
and I wonder, I truly do, if
Without love, my writing is not worth it

#30in30 2017, Day Twenty-Five: Do You Right

I won't pretend to suggest
that I'm different
because that's what they all say
and turn out to be the same anyway

Instead, I will give
the best that I can to you
and never put you through
the things you don't want go back to

I guess this is me
"shooting my shot" and making it plain
Stating my case to be your man
provided you give me a chance

I ain't saying I'm going to change your life
But I'm going to do you right

#30in30 2017, Day Twenty-Four: Guardian Angel

I couldn't save you
from the times they dragged you down
The times they made you feel lesser than,
I wish I'd been around
but I'm here now

You know I got you
No matter what this world says
or does
Nothing stands a chance against us
I'll guard you from it all

I can't shelter you from every storm
but I will do what I can
to show you hurting is not the norm
you don't need saving
but if you ever do, I promise you

You know I got you
Whatever comes your way, I'll stand
in front and take the hit
then stand aside you once again
I'll guard you from it all

#30in30 2017, Day Twenty-Three: Royal Highness

Tonight, I'ma bow
and bear witness to the regality
before me
Plant my lips upon yours, Queen
hoping you'll King me
as I work my way down
pay proper attention to your mounds
subtly slide your royal gown away
feel you shudder under my touch
let me know if it's too much, Queen
or just enough
Tonight, I'ma get on my knees
and behold Your Majesty
just gonna taste of your royalty
earn my spot inside your throne
do what I do best to put you in the zone
Crown might fall off your head
during this worship, Queen
I'll put it right back
For now, we won't worry bout that
whisper your wishes as the song escapes
Tonight I'll treat it like a privilege, Your Majesty

#30in30 2017, Day Twenty-Two: Icarus Ascending

They done let me believe I can fly
I am starting to think it just might be my time
I feel my wings spreading
My mind is steady
I'm ready
I'm about rise up again

Man, I been humble
I been meek, I been quiet
I waited and waited and watched from afar
But my time has come
and I no longer fear the sun
Icarus is taking flight

Y'all done let me get some confidence
I'm seeing the light in me again
I've been rooting for good people to win
But I've been summoned off the bench
I'm checking in
You're about to watch me ascend

I'd never forget
where I came from but if you
looked past me, now you'll look up
Because I'm rising
I'm blessing up, done messing up
Y'all gone hate when I'm not humble anymore

#30in30 2017, Day Twenty-One: Tattoo #1

trust the artist

the pen gon sting

but he gon do her thing

and make it lasting

it's drilling right in

imprinting that ink

making it permanent,

that memory

every detail is applied

might hurt a bit, to get it right

but once it's done,

it ought to be a beautiful sight

if you wanna preserve it for real,

you put it in your skin

that way, it comes alive

every time they touch it

whether it's on a limb, on your finger

on your thigh, the sensation will linger

because only if it really means something,

that's when you put it in ink

#30in30 2017, Day Twenty: Out of My Head

Can't get out of my head
I tried to stop doubting
But every time I try,
my mind wanders back to
the last time I failed
the love that I lost
the mistakes I made and
how I paid the cost
How do you bounce back
when you can't move forward?

Think I built this trap myself
a rat stuck in my own maze
And every time I thought I was there,
I hit a wall
I recalled my downfall
How I couldn't have it all and
my forward motion stalled
Can't live my life til I
get out of my head
But I'm stuck here

#30in30 2017, Day Nineteen: Moment of Weakness

She said
I'll give you my heart
Just promise not to break it
When things get a little rough
Just promise to not to fake it
And if you think it'll hurt me
Just don't do it
Just don't do it
Just don't do it

I thought I was good at
resisting temptation
Thought since I had a good woman,
I'd never find myself in situations
How can something so wrong
be so satisfying?
I didn't mean to for it to happen
Now I'm out here lying

She said treat her with kindness
and keep every promise
I fell my prey to my desire
I told her I'd never betray her
And I just did it
And I just did it
I just did it

#30in30 2017, Day Eighteen: Online Story

wish i could close the distance
cause our meeting's long overdue
it's strange, this strong connection
that i feel when it comes to you
but i, lately i been wondering
if you only feeling me because

just thinking out loud:
do you really like me for me?
or are you only attracted to
my whole internet thing?
i'm the same person on and off
but would the "real" me turn you off?

not like i'm lying to you
about who i am
i just worry the "lols" won't happen "irl"
the conversation won't be worth a damn
i might be tripping but for real
but that's just how i feel

what if i'm not who
you imagined me to be?
what if i made your expectations too lofty?
fly you out for you to find out i'm not fly
or feel like all i've told you is a lie?
maybe i gotta fall back to save me in your eyes

#30in30 2017, Day Seventeen: Come Home

I know that I have lost my way
Feel myself flailing in the dark
You know I'm better than I've been
I hate that I fell off the walk

I hope You haven't left me yet
like so many others have
I hope You don't see me as a lost cause
or an insurmountable task

I hope You still save me
I know Yours is the love that redeems
You are the one through whom all things
are restored, revived, and made clean

I've been so lonely lately
At times, it's been hard to sleep
Times I should've been strong, I was weak
Times I've been stressed, and I just
wanted peace

I know I can be stubborn
I thought I knew it all but I don't
So I'll try it Your way now
I'm going to come home

#30in30 2017, Day Sixteen: Love Spat

I hate you I love you

I need you I want you

You disgust me you make me angry

You treat me shady I'm not your baby

You drive me nuts you make me crazy

This shit takes work you can't be lazy

I need absolutes I don't need maybes

You gotta work with me you so damn impatient

You gotta work for me I won't make it easy

You gotta stimulate me you gotta please me

You gotta take me higher and make me scream

You always make me scream and treat you mean

You push my buttons I say the wrong thing

You wanted love you won't work for it

I signed up for love not to hurt for it

You so dishonest why you gotta lie?

You so full of shit look me in my eyes

tell me it's worth it tell me I'm worth the fight

I think you're worth it I just hate to fight

Just give me credit whenever I try

You been trying for years I need you to do

I been here for years waiting for you to breakthrough

Where do we go from here?

#30in30 2017, Day Fifteen: Still Worth It

You don't know when you lost it
You just got tired of paying the cost
You miss the feeling that made you smile
You tried to be patient but it's taking awhile

You used to give your heart so freely
You used to love with your whole being
But the thieves came and took your faith
Resentment and bitterness took its place

It doesn't have to be this way
I'm here to lead you back since you've gone astray
Your secrets are sacred, I won't give them up
I'll take your trust serious - I know that's a must

Take my hand and let me lift you up
Others used you up, but I will give you more than enough
Let me love you like you deserve it
Let me show you that love is still worth it

#30in30 3017, Day Fourteen: Time Is Up

I would have told you
All the things I had to say
I would've told you that
You meant the world to me
I wish I'd had the courage to speak up
I would've told you, but it's too late

Silly of me to fall prey to my thinking
I just knew you wouldn't have the same feeling
I'd compliment you but not to gas you up
Cause you were brilliant and I wasn't enough
Thought I'd have a chance to say it
Just waited for the right moment and time

But if you wait too long, you'll get left behind
Why would you give someone like me, the
opportunity to be, with someone amazing like you?
I just didn't want my heart to break
Now you've gone away and my heart's broken anyway

#30in30 2017, Day Thirteen: Masochist

I don't know why I'm at this wedding
Bout to watch you start the next chapter
in your life, and leave me behind

I guess I couldn't stand it
if I wasn't here for this magical moment,
even if it ain't how I imagined it

I made my mistakes, I paid
I lost my greatest thing
Now somebody else is giving you a ring

I watch you walk down the aisle
shining like Andromeda, wearing that smile
the smile I fell in love with

They're going to ask if anyone objects
I know if I don't speak up, I'll regret
but I already ruined my time with you
I won't ruin this time, too

You should really be with me but I didn't appreciate what I had
I watch you step into the future while I'm stuck in the past

#30in30 2017, Day Twelve: Ballad of the Black Woman

i call you a strong Black woman
all the time
you inspire me because of all things
you're juggling
i'm sure it never gets easier
but you so focused
i'm sure the load gets heavy to bear
and you think no one noticed

you're so much stronger
than most give you the credit for
nothing nobody can throw at you
that you ain't ready for
but you can't always hold it together
and it's okay

be working so hard, so hard
and you often tired
you just do it and smile through it
so composed, you're no fool
but your frustration might blow your cool

you be flexing without even trying
but even you shouldn't feel bad for crying
you can't always hold it together
some storms are harder to weather
so used are you, to being Superwoman
hope you know i still love you when you're human

#30in30 2017, Day Eleven: Just Black

They fear you because they've seen you
Rise above adversity
They'd rather misjudge and condemn you
than discover that you're truly worthy
Better to criminalize
and trivialize the things that bother you
Better to make you sad,
say you have no reason to be mad at
the way things are

They only wanna be Black when it's cool
not when it's real
They don't want to know how it feels
to be considered lesser than
or to be referred to as "that friend"
No, they leave that to you

They say you have no culture
But they derive their sound and style from you
It makes me wonder, wonder
without you, what would they do?
where would they find inspiration?
Better to say you have no education,
you'll never be bigger than where you come from
the best things about you can't be copied
it's in your DNA, to be great

This Blackness, oh, they can't assume it
They wanna bottle it up, wish they could consume it
But it's yours, and you can't lose it
Wear it proudly and say it loudly
And love it truly and be it fully -
Just Black.

#30in30 2017, Day Ten: Miss Piggy

I'd know that sound anywhere
I hear you in the air
Your scent, so intoxicating
The sizzle, so invigorating
You put me in a spell
Now I want to taste what I smell

I've got that swine on my mind
I'm begging for some bacon
A little black around the edges
You know how I like it

You make burgers better
That greasy pop lets me know
Breakfast lunch dinner - so versatile
Baby, I like your style
Heard they put you in donuts now?
Damn, that's dessert too!

Oh, I wanna savor that real thing
Don't bring that turkey foolery round me
That Miss Piggy's what I need
I love me some bacon

#30in30 2017, Day Nine: Act Right

I know that the main thing
missing in my life
is a little act right
Because I been doing it wrong,
must be doing it wrong
to keep meeting the same kinda girls
offering them my world
and they keep dropping it

I could tell you that I'm perfect
or a really nice dude but I
I know if I'm honest, I be tripping
been a couple times I was slipping
but now I'm on a mission

Got that purpose in my step now
In a position to act right now
Ready to find someone and fight for her

Had a talk with my homegirl
She asked, "What's really different though?"
Tried to tell her that my mindset changed
and I'm good to go
She was like, "but if the roles were reversed
and it was her
you were hoping would grow up,
would you wait for her to act right, too?
or does that only apply to you?"

And I didn't have an answer.

#30in30 2017, Day Eight: Paralysis

Been trying to

Stop lying to you
Your idea of love scares me

What do you mean, you care for me?

If you knew the things 

That I know

You wouldn't like what you see

I want to be good for you but

I don't know I can be

Sometimes love can be paralyzing

I fear I'm not equipped

I worry that, the first mistake I make

You'll jump ship

You think I'm just afraid to commit

Truth is, I just don't want to be quit on

#30in30 2017, Day Seven: Stress Relief

I can't wait to see you again
It's been too long, darlin', since I got my taste
And the hunger
Is stronger than it's ever been
Been longing to wrap my hands round your waist
And make you move to the beat in my head

Damn, I just got that call
Letting me know you got a craving
for me to do things to you and leave you shaking
You've got a need that I must satisfy
And who am I, to deny you?

I might run my tongue down your back
Call that shit a spinal tap
Lift you up and set you in my lap
And let your legs put me in your trap
Know you treat it like competition so
I'll let you finish first
You know I work hard and won't hold back
I'll give you my best til it's my last

You're my favorite thing to devour
and I'm starving; I'm on my way.

#30in30 2017, Day Six: Take Flight

I see you taking off

I see your ambition rising

I see the payoff if you keep trying

Challenges, you thought would hold you back

Remember the times I told you that

There's no time for regrets

You gotta believe in you

Even when the ones you'd expect to,

don't have your back like they say they do

You can't get distracted, can't look away

No matter what they say

You always had the skill

Even though you were laid-back and chill

Now the time has come for you

to break on through

And claim what you've been dreaming

Even if you don't see it yet

You gotta believe in you

Gotta know your purpose

Gotta know you deserve it

Don't be led astray, let nothing get in your way
Break free and take flight

#30in30 2017, Day Five: Has-Been

Lately I've been feeling like a has-been
Like I used to be great
but I ain't been living up to my name
and that's a shame

This a weird kinda funk I can't shake
It ain't a blues I would choose on my own
This can't be my fate
My jadedness is making me rock
and I got the urge to roll

To get away, cause I can't find my place
and I just can-not take
functioning below my potential
I should have so many more credentials
Or it is all in my mental?
No, I'm really better than this

I used to be some inspiration
But lately, I can feel the separation
Between who I'm supposed to be and who I am
Can't be a leader or a husband if I'm a has-been

#30in30 2017, Day Four: The Eyes Have It

The look in your eyes
tells me everything I need to know
Darling, what you feel you gotta hide?
Sunshine on your face but I can tell
it's a storm inside
And I see you with your friends
on vacation in the fancy destinations
but your expression is contemplating
and your eyes is vacant, baby

What's on your mind?
What's this weight you carrying -
is it getting heavy, do you a helping hand?
Saw you looking good on the 'Gram
and I pressed that heart, too
but I saw through - what's getting to you?
Is there anything I can do?

See, I get it
celebratory occasion but you don't really feel it
Joy tryna break through, but something tryna steal it
All this work you do - how you ain't exhausted?
anybody lesser, baby, damn sure would've lost it
But I see in your eyes
the world's dragging you down, down
That ain't gonna happen on my watch
And I just wanna let you know that I'm around

#30in30 2017, Day Three: Cure for Loneliness

What's the cure for loneliness?
That's the question that's plagued me lately
I don't like this feeling helpless
And I know it's not right to be selfish

I poured myself into my passion -
put my best self on paper in the form of words
But though they heal me, they don't hear me
It doesn't satisfy the urge

My desire for some closeness
A companion, a refuge
from the things that drive me crazy
And it seems, I keep on losing

I gave my support to make up for it
Told those around me - don't give up! go for it!
Thought helping others would fill the cracks
But it just further exposes what I lack

And I'm wondering, and I'm wandering
Mind's my enemy, can't stop pondering
Do you see me? Do I matter?
Promise I don't mean to be sadder
Friends are one thing - love's another
Standing alone ain't like standing together
Why can't I find the cure for loneliness?

#30in30 2017, Day Two: All for The Likes

All for the likes all for the likes
You gon put a whole act on
You gon say things you never said
You gon say you like that song
You gon say you out while you in bed

All for the likes
Cosign shit that don't make sense
Carry on an image for internet friends
Supportive in private, but shady in public
all these lies on your timeline
all for the likes all for the likes

What it mean when more people
will follow you on Twitter
than will follow you in real life?
what it mean when your words onscreen
and your actions ain't the same thing?

It's gon catch up to you
I hope it don't catch me too
all of your lies all for the likes

#30in30 2017, Day One: April's Fool

Imagine
You knew someone who was broken
You tried to put back the pieces
You didn't care for the reason why
You just knew that you had to try

Then You
realized You couldn't fix it
without having to change it
but you liked the original arrangement
How can You improve something that's
already amazing?

But she
didn't see it
but not because she was blind
Parasites got in her mind,
convinced her she wasn't worth
anyone's time

You tried
but damage beyond repair
She didn't see how You cared
She was stuck there
She got shattered and
built a fortress
She dared anyone try to cross it
She'd make sure that they'd regret it
"Why you giving her the effort? Forget it"
And she'd say, "You just don't get it"

But You do,
or at least You are trying to
trying to hammer through the brick
to give healing to the sick
Can You free someone that seems
comfortable in her misery,
can't move forward, paralyzed by her history?
You don't know.
But You're still trying, though