just a shell of my former self
I built my world around her
and she left, and it fell apart
And I don't know, I don't know
who else I can trust from now on with my heart
Now there's no sun to make my seeds flowers
She chewed me up and spit me out, took away my power,
and now I'm just a shell
I used to believe in love
That's why I was patient and put my trust
in the man above
But then you came along
made me feel so good, just to feel so bad
when all was said and done
And I can't enjoy memories of the good times
I can't enjoy having you on my mind
I want to pick up the phone and give you a ring
I can't believe I contemplated giving you a ring
Giving you a good life and lavishing you with things
I thought we were on a high, I never thought you'd bring
me down, back to Earth
instead of making me better, you made me worse
So the person, I was
before you no longer ex-ists
And when a future person threatens to get me open,
I will abruptly ex-it
Because you broke me, left me hurt like hell
sent me on away and didn't wish me well
Thought what we had was magic, but it was all a spell
and without your presence... I'm just a shell
The phone rings, interrupting in my lament,
and then a voice says:
"Pardon me, I'm trying to reach ____. Can you tell me
if he's still around, or he's not there, where he might be?"
I told her, Ma'am, this is not the place where that man resides.
To be honest, I don't even think that man is still alive.
She replies... "It is you! That voice, I'd always recognize.
Why are you fronting with me? Why are you telling me lies?"
And I: I'm being honest, I'm not the person that you're looking for.
I got stepped on, so I moved on. I'm not that person anymore.
"I get it, you got hurt."
I'm not hurt; it's just your timing is the worst.
"You can't fool me, I know those words, I hear the evidence.
I know the scene of the crime. Hell, I practically paid rent at that residence."
Residence? I don't get the metaphor.
"I'm merely trying to tell you that I've been there before.
And I'm reaching out to you, because I think you're so much more.
I don't want to see you drown in your sorrows; here, let me lead you back to shore."
I tell her, No deal, I'm the Isle of Wight. I'm the darkest night.
You don't want my plight.
"I think you just took a wrong turn. Let me lead you back to the light."
Her voice is reassuring, but I'm sure it's all allure
The very person who caused this feeling, my perception of her was equally as poor
I tell her, no thanks. I don't think I'm coming back from that.
She said again, "I'm not her." You could be one day, so I won't take that chance.
I tried for years to be the bigger nigga. Now I'm just a bitter nigga.
She's taken aback - she knows this is not my usual language.
But my heart and spirit have been broken, mine is not the usual anguish.
I tell her, pardon my language, but I've been through hell.
I just wanted someone to fill me up, but now I'm just a shell.
Maybe she's crazy, or stupid, but she persists
and the tone in her voice is stubborn, like she just won't quit.
She says,
"So if you are the shell,
then I promise I'm the turtle.
You think you're a desert, but I think you're pretty fertile
Not in terms of making babies -
I'm saying, I think you're waiting to blossom
Because your potential's immense and your presence is awesome
When you reach broad waters, we can together build a bridge across em
I know you've had good people around and you lost 'em; I know life ain't fair
and I'm not trying to be the answer to your problems; I just want to be there
I know you think you're beyond repair - that you're barren
but if I could be the oasis in your Sahara, I would never stop caring"
Her argument was pretty strong, her offer seemed real
but my last left me a shell - there was no way this other could deal
I could not, I refused to return to that
to late night conversations and practically breaking my back
to give a woman my heart and thoughtful baubles,
but always manage to feel awful and unappreciated for my troubles
No, I was content being cold
Once, I dreamed of me and The One, with two kids, in a three-bedroom household
But now... now, I just didn't know
Before I knew it, this woman's words had seeped into my head.
Her transparency made me think carefully, but finally I said...
"You can't repair a shell - it just exists pretty empty.
I appreciate your offer, but I can't let another woman end me."
