#30in30 '14, Day 16: When The Honeymoon Ended

The honeymoon is over.

The champagne toast
and the white dress and the veil I lifted
and the laughter that left your lips when you
tossed your bouquet into the air
and my boys jabbing me in the ribs and rubbing it in
that you were the last woman I'd ever get to have sex with
and the cake we cut
and the first slice you guided into my mouth
and the dollop of icing that I swept up with a finger and placed on your nose
and the tears that fell down your face when we dancing
and the time I said, "I got you for life" and you smiled wide
and the look in your eyes when you said "I do"

It's all over.

We fought so hard.
We threw blows and jabs and uppercuts of disrespect
and at the end of it all, there was no winner
but both of our spirits and hearts were bloodied and bruised
We put our foot on the gas and rushed into the love part
but weren't quite ready for the speedbumps that life would bring
Weren't ready for the challenges, the disappointments, the disagreements
I was ready for who I thought you were,
not so much for who you might turn out to be
You saw what you hoped for me, and not my reality
When the honeymoon ended, so did we
Separated
From occupying the same space to a hotel room on the other side of town
because you needed to breathe
and I was prepared for arguments but not prepared to fight for
what I had promised before friends, family and God was mine forever

It's all over.

But a funny thing happened when the honeymoon ended and the storm came -
I remembered.
The first time we met, the first time we kissed
The first time I made you laugh, the last time I made you cry
The first time we made love and I heard you exhale that exhausted sigh
The dreams we shared, the secrets we kept
I remembered what I loved about you the most
and that reminded me that I couldn't afford to lose you
that no little thing was going to be big enough to tear us apart
if it was up to me.
So I drove home and before I could knock on the door, you opened it
And we embraced
and we talked it out
and we admitted we said things in the moment
and we said we should've prepared
We could've quit, but it wasn't worth it
Me losing you losing me losing us wasn't worth it
So we started late... but this time, we planned

The honeymoon ended.
But we did not.
We may not be perfect. But we just might be okay.