Saturday, April 6, 2019

#30in30 2019, Day 5: If I Had Known

If I had known that time
would be the last time
I would like to think
I would've handled it differently
I would like to think
I would've let you know
Exactly how I felt

If I had known that night
I would see you angry
and never see you smile again
I would've said it was all bullshit
I would've said, while I was mad,
it didn't matter
and I still cared
and I still wanted you there

If I had known those words
would be the last you'd hear from me
I would've said I was sorry
It wasn't about who was to blame
I know the finger had to be pointed
in the moment
But if I had known
I'd lose you forreal tomorrow
after feeling like I lost an argument today
I would've found better things to say
I wouldn't have pushed you away

But I didn't know
and now you'll never know, either

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